letting go and holding tight: a fight for control

When she grows up – giving God our future

I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.

Psalm 139:14-16


Jayla is the equalizer in our family. We now have two boys and two girls. We have two blonde boys and two dark-haired girls. We have two pairs of blue eyes and one pair of brown eyes, so, as the equalizer, I’m thinking Jayla’s dark eyes may end up brown. Looking into those dark eyes, I wonder what kind of person she will become. Athlete or book-worm? Cautious or adventurous? Tall or short? Though my other kids are a little older and personalities have definitely developed, I wonder the same things about them. Who will they become? Part of the joy (and fear) as a parent is waiting, wondering, and praying about the kind of people your children will become. It’s hard for me to look at my one month old and think about her as a teenager, or to look at my eight year old and imagine her as a mom. Yet, it will happen; my kids will grow up, and I’ll no longer have to imagine what they will be like because it will become a reality.

Contemplating Jayla’s future made me think about God’s view of his children, his view of us. Never once did he look at me or you and think, “I wonder what she’ll turn out like.” Psalm 139:14-16 tells us that God knew our design before we were formed in our mother’s womb. We are fearfully and wonderfully made by the creator of the universe. He pre-planned every detail of our being. Not only did he create our physical bodies, but he has a unique plan or future for us. Our Heavenly Father doesn’t just watch and record the history of our life, he created it.

You know those calendars with the stickers used to document the first year of a baby’s life? (Or, if you’re like me, it documents only the first few months before I get busy and distracted and the record-keeping is abandoned.) God has one of those calendars for each of his children, but it spans our whole lifetime. He doesn’t fill out the calendar as we experience life, but the moment we were born, it was already completed. It includes not only our first steps, first tooth, and first food but also our first heartbreak, first job, first love, every loss we experience, every joy that fills our hearts; all written on his calendar before they ever happen. We don’t need a sneak-peak at the calendar of our future because when we submit to the Lord’s will for our lives, we are assured that his plan, his calendar, is perfect for us. Jeremiah 29:11 tells us, “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Our futures are planned out by God before our birth. In The Message, Psalm 139:16 is written as, “The days of my life all prepared before I’d even lived one day”.

What does this mean for us? We can take comfort in knowing that the Lord has a unique plan for us and already knows every moment of our future. Are you facing a trial right now? He knows what you’re going through and how it will turn out. Turn to him for comfort and guidance. Maybe you’re wandering through life, unsure of what you’re supposed to do, which step to take next. God knows where you’re headed and specifically designed you for a purpose. Seek him and his will and that purpose will be revealed. Though we may question our future, God never does. Though we wonder what life may be like in a month or five years, God knows because he’s already written each day on our calendar.



Lord you are so amazing, and we are so limited. You know everything about us and have a plan for our lives beyond anything we can imagine. Thank you for the love that shows us and forgive us when we begin to doubt our future. Help us to find comfort knowing that you are in control even when we’re not. Help us to surrender to you and be shaped by your Spirit so that we may fulfill the plans you have for us.


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